2008-09-04 23:51:08 The Sharktard Chronicles (Spore)

So how come there's no spore subject yet!? It's been out for a whole day already :P

So anyways, so far i'm not that impressed. Spore does what these kind of games usually do; it cobbles together a lot of different gameplay parts and because it contains like 80 different genres none of them are particularly well executed. So i'll just talk trash about the different stages of the game: Cell, creature, tribe, culture, and space. Be ready to be immersed in the Sharktard Chronicles!

Genesis
First Spore tries to be Flow and...i guess it does fairly well at that, but it's hard to fail there. The entire concept of eating shit while swimming in a top down view is just not so complex that they should be able to botch it. It is however dreadfully boring so you'll be pleased to find that this mode is over in like 5 minutes, cause then you discover the leg and lo, you get to start playing in creature mode!

World of Warcraft
I'm not quite sure what they tried to do in this creature mode though, cause it's like flow again, only in 3d. Basically it works like a memerpeger (if you don't get the joke you suck), you just walk around killing or befriending other creatures. And it's pretty boring. Then you get a pack which further enhances the feeling of soloing in a memerperger, only you now have a mute friend or two to help you get your grind on. Man it's like wow all over again! Okay so after you stick it to other ugly monsters for about an hour or so you finally get to advance to the tribe stage! Wow!

Revelation
The tribe stage is a shitty RTS. You only have one type of unit, one infinite resource and well...like you can fit your guys with axes or torches but i didn't give a fuck and just ruled supreme in like 30 minutes anyways. All the other tribes fell before my wrath and i don't think i even lost a single unit. So yeah, tribe mode is awesome.

Judges
After that you get to go to the city/culture stage which is the same thing only you now have 3 units, land, sea and air. My Sea Fucker MK2 ruled the seas, the skies and even the mighty mountains. Within 20 minutes of me figuring out how to run a city i had annihilated ever soul on the planet unwilling to submit to my dominance as the mighty head of the Shark-tard tribe. Basically i lead a crude bunch of retards who like clubbing things. Anyways i finally built a pirate ship that could traverse the depths of space and set off to new adventures.

Exodus
So now i could fly around in my sweet little pirate ship, the M.S. Space Fucker 2K, and kill shit with a laser canon and it was kind of sweet but the thrill wore of as soon as i realized that i could not wage war on the ugly crab people i found in my neighboring solar system. They prayed to some dude named Spod or some shit, and as a Sharktard that really pissed me off and naturally i just wanted to take my Spacefucker 2k and jam it up his cloacum, or whatever crab people have. But the game wouldn't lett me. Naturally that infuriated me and i turned the game off. But my basic impression of the space stage is that it is by far the most well made stage of the game. But really, there are way better management games out there that also let you bypass the ever tedious mouse wheel scrolling required to travel the galaxy found in spore.

All in all spore is like a house build from turds. No one single piece of it is really good but at least it keeps you dry on rainy days, and it is kind of fun to evolve your creature. To sum it up: It's a tamagotchi wrapped in feces.

But seriously, all the game elements are dumbed down to fit the project, and to be honest Spore is a very ambitious project. But at this it sacrifices quality over quantity. Many modes of play, yes, but tehy are all grossly simplified and lack challenge. All in all Spore is not a bad experience and it has something Will Wright has never implemented before (gameplay goals!! FU SIMS!), but it ultimately stumbles upon it's own ambition.

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We seek permission to devour you. We mean...to approach the bench.

2008-09-05 00:04:45

Well it sucks then, thanks for letting me know.

I recommend anyone to play CIV IV on PC, greatest strategy game.

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2008-09-05 00:47:08

I'll have to give this game a shot regardless of those impressions. It's far too ambitious for me to write off completely based on one persons (well formed, mind you) first look. I'll probably pick this up after I'm done with the Warhammer Online beta.

2008-09-05 01:31:36

I don't know where you live but it's not out in the UK until Friday and the US on Sunday. My excitement has definately died down for this but I'm still going to try it.

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Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Has it been five years? Six? It seems like a lifetime.

2008-09-05 01:33:32

I read elsewhere that this game isn't for the "hardcore gamer" and isn't really much of a game. IGN gave it an 8.8 I believe for not having much depth I think

2008-09-05 01:43:09 In reply to TheBeagle (2008-09-05 01:31:36)

2008-09-05 01:47:14

Gamespot:

The Good
Intuitive and comprehensive customization tools Oozes charm at every turn Impressively broad scope Great audio and art design.

The Bad
Individual gameplay elements are extremely simple Early stages aren't very engaging.

:(

At least it birthed sporn?

2008-09-05 04:24:29

The tribe/city conquering RTS stages really turns me off and seem to be quite out of place in the exploration and customisation of the other stages. From what I've read it seems to be a case of all out attack at the start or suffer a tedious war of attrition for hours.

2008-09-05 09:23:26 In reply to GriftGFX (2008-09-05 01:43:09)

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We seek permission to devour you. We mean...to approach the bench.

2008-09-05 14:57:58

So you have basically completed it in a day ? :\

What exactly is the purpose of the outer space level if not to conquer the universe ?

Was looking forward to this game, but sounds like its turned out a bit shit.

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Marumaro for the WIN !!

2008-09-05 15:09:12

Jolli: well, yes i played through all the game except the space colonization part in one afternoon/evening I started when i got home and i was there around midnight, when i posted this. In the space scenario you can build colonies, trade with other species and do missions, which mostly seem to consist of firing ye olde lazer at creatures or abducting them.

I may have been a little harsh because even though it's simple and stupid it's also kind of fun...i mean, i know the gameplay is pretty bad, but since it's my little guy i feel like i have to help him through :P

The worst problem, i think, is that it's so easy. The game is never challenging, not even on hard.

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We seek permission to devour you. We mean...to approach the bench.

2008-09-05 23:33:44

The reviews aren't a bit shit, they're just not in the A+ range that people were expecting. I have yet to see a review for Spore under an 8, with several generally harsh critics scoring it higher. One person's impression that's generally negative isn't going to impact my will to try it for myself.

I still appreciate your take on it though, Megido.

2008-09-05 23:50:59

Grift: Of course you should try it and form your own opinion, that's the best way to go. What sucks for me might still be great to you. With spore though it feels like they've focused so hard on it to be friendly and accessible that it's hardly a game anymore. Then again, it's more of a game than Sim City or the Sims, but just barely. In a sense that's great too, cause i could probably start this game and have my grandmother play it without any difficulty, but that's just not what i want as a gamer.

Bottom line is that this game was not designed with me, or gamers in general, in mind i think. If you think of it as a profoundly casual experience that might shed a different light on it.

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We seek permission to devour you. We mean...to approach the bench.

2008-09-06 00:10:58

My mate tells me that it's absolutely awesome. I'm getting a gaming laptop in about a month, so i'll certainly be buying it.

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To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

2008-09-06 02:29:07 In reply to blmbox (2008-09-06 00:10:58)

2008-09-06 03:35:29

The new Gateway FX, its basically the best gaming laptop for the money out there, otherwise spend the extra dough on a sager.

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When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.

2008-09-06 05:03:15

It's easily the best deal out there, especially considering it's available at that price in retail settings (Best Buy). They only real consideration comes down to build quality. I would rather spend the extra money on a Sager, personally, but that's because I know Clevo notebooks are rock solid. When Gateway and eMachines merged, their build quality (eMachines makes the machines) supposedly improved dramatically, but from what I understand they're still not up to the standards you might see from other vendors.

Dell and Alienware have some nice machines too, but they're ungodly expensive. The SLI configuration on the XPS will cost you well over a thousand dollars more than a single chip 9800M GTX with 1 gig of video memory from Sager--an option Dell doesn't even offer--hell they don't offer any 9800M options period.

OCZ's new Whitebook is pretty interesting. I really only have two complaints: its function key and control key should be swapped. It's a gaming notebook and you can't make such a stupid error in the keyboard layout! That, and while it has an HDMI port, they opted for a VGA port instead of DVI. That strikes me as a bit stupid. The Crossfire 3870 option is very appealing though, considering that it costs about as much as a single 9800M in several other notebooks.

2008-09-06 16:16:02 In reply to GriftGFX (2008-09-06 02:29:07)

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To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

2008-09-06 18:05:22

My cousin just got an ASUS, it was a 9700M, and it plays COD4 at max settings with a high resolution @ anywhere between 50 to 60+FPS.

BUT the specs are not as good as those in the Gateway, and they cost the same I think.

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Mods, stop changing my SIG! I'm going to end up banning you!

2008-09-07 00:31:16 In reply to blmbox (2008-09-06 16:16:02)

2008-09-07 01:12:44

I mean, the only problem is that it's going to be more dedicated for work and stuff than it is gaming. So, it looks like it's going to be a regular laptop that's good enough to play games on decent settings.

My mate's hooking me up with the laptop, and I needed to say what the minimum requirements of it should be. Here's what I put:

- 2 to 4 GB of RAM
- 50 to 150 GB hard drive memory
- Windows Vista
- Intel Core II duo processor

Does that all sound good as a minimum?

And I haven't said anything about the graphics and video card yet. What should the minimum be for them?

I probably sound like a dumbass who knows nothing about laptops and requirements. Well, that would be correct. :D

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To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

2008-09-07 03:40:09

It depends how far you want to take your gaming. I would suggest getting a 9700M as a minimum but the 9800M will take you quite a bit further. Check out the new Gateway FX if you're really in the market for a really good deal, though I don't think it's the best option, overall, it is the best bargain.

Try to avoid the 8600M if you wind up with a 8 series GPU, they're pretty shitty. The 9 series performs better through out its range than the 8 series did, which was basically only good with the 8800M.

Most great gaming laptops are good work laptops too.. but have dramatically poorer battery life than some other options. I'm currently really tempted to go with the OCZ Whitebook via Cyberpower PC, but I want AMD to tell us what their timeframe for the HD 4800 is first.